Reserves - Arsenal v Brighton 21/10/97

Arsenal reserve match

Avon Insurance Combination, 21st October 1997

Arsenal 6 Brighton 0

Scorers: Anelka, Wreh 3, Wicks, Hughes

Greetings earhtlings of the planryt earht,.

This is the latyeat installment of drunk match reports, perpared by me, in this fine if somewhat froshen october evening in the month of octnogber,

The team.

Alex Mannnninguher
Jason Crogh
Matthew Wheetabiccx
Boom Boom
Scot Marshac
Steve Boukd (he played in midfield and looked just like
Valderamma with his bald perm - uh!?)
Someone else -er it was Menzed Rodurihgyez Albbertyo.
Steve hughges
Chris Wreh (hurrah - correct hsspelling!)
Nicolsa Anelikjma
And fcumjk, who was the other bloke? Shit. It was,
bolokks, hold on, let me get the piece of pkaper. Oh
yeah, Favin MchGowan, how could I forget.
Subs : Jehad Mutsasser, Greg Lincoln, Rcihbard
Higghes.

HT score : 2-0 
Scorers : Anelka, Wreh 3, Wicks, Hughes (steve).

Bould scuessefully rubbed off one bookiung by only tocuhing the ball twice in ninety minutes, one was a header that hit the bar.

Anelka looked useful and made the brighton children look ordinary. He scored a tap in from a shot spilled by former gooner keeper Nickey Rust. Also hit the bar after a brilliant run. Wreh was superb and got his first form a fanstatci run from anelka, rounded the keepr and tapped it in.

After the break we scored four in about 10 mins. Mendez wriggled round everyone all afternoon, somethimes without the ball, he just likes wriggling a lot and he made the space for Wreh to blast into top corner. Then Wreh got another, althoughj i can't remenber how. Then hughes (s) made a cross field ball to the onrushing Wiocks who slid it home at far post. Then hughes (s) volleyed one in with his right foot. Shocking!

Derek Brownghon scoring system :

Manainger : Looked like a keeper in an arsenal shirt, which was handy because he was in goal for this match. Didn;'t have muich to do, so he played dominoes with the ballboys. Score : 7
Crowe : Got booked, but lasted 90 minutes. Had a cheese sandwich at half time. Otherwise quick and closed down opps well,. Score : 7
Wicks : Looked OK at left back, Jenny Cann liked his hair and kept on commenting that he should have ditched the rollers and hair net before coming on. Score : 7
Keown : Looked almost back to his best, got stuck in with flying headers, certainly not psycollguically affected by injury. Did a dump near the corner flag. Score : 7.5
Marshall : Had a decent game, but was impeded on several occasions by the anniversaty of the stock market crash. Score : 7
Bould : Didn;t bother playing, but just loped about doing fuck all and planted some daffs for next spring in the penalty area as he was bored. Avoided booking which was good. Score : 6
Mendez : Made lots of fine runs, and wriggled. Score : 7.5
Hughes, StevE: Should have shined, but didn't. He still did OK, plated definselvly as anchor man on several occasions and kept his discipline when the Brighton fans (there was 10000 of them there) continously baited him about his mums hairy armpits. Score : 6.72
McGowan : started a bit naffly, but got better and started to make some tidy runs. Was subbed, so he punched Geordie Armstrong in the ankle. Score : 6
Wreh : Star of the show, top notch running and took his chances well. Sooopah Kev with skill! I couldn't believe he was playing with a blindfold on the whole game, unbelieveable! Score : 8.5
Anelka : Would have been the best player on the pitch, but just pipped by Wreh because Wreh has bigger thighs. Score : 8
Subs: Muntasser - wearing a mahogany cupboard made him a bit slow.
Lincoln : the tall hat and long beard in rememberance of his great ancestor was a fitting gesture of respect. Was shot by an assasin.
Richard Hughes : Watched tellibtubbies on the jumbotron.

report by Mel Melis

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