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Crap Player Schedule 1997-98
It has been noted recently that some Arsenal fans have been criticising
certain members of the Arsenal squad. This practice takes place in the
ground, in pubs and homes across London, and on the Internet.
ArseWeb does not have a problem with this, as such.
However, this season there seems to be a growing number of fans who
are criticising the wrong players, at
the wrong times. Even we at ArseWeb have been guilty
of this on occasion.
There is of course a carefully worked out timetable of crapness,
which determied the crap player for each month, together with the
reason(s) for their crapness.
It is vital that all fans get together on this one, and restrict
their harping on about players' weaknesses to the appropriate
squad member (regardless of injury, regardless of whether they're in
the first team at the moment, and regardless of whether they
have been sold). Only by being thoroughly disciplined
about this can we bring the full weight of our collective moaning
to bear.
For those who have forgotten the schedule, or lost their copy, we
reproduce below the official Arsenal Crap Player Schedule for
the current season 97-98.
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| Month |
Player |
Why they're crap |
| July |
Seaman |
secret weakness, lack of confidence, only bothers for England |
| August |
Adams |
alcoholic, injury prone, can't drive |
| September |
Anelka |
not good enough, raw, no experience, arrogant, moody |
| October |
Grimandi |
at fault for the goal, inexperienced in England |
| November |
Wright |
Over the hill, liability, never win the league with
him in the side, 5 games without a goal |
| December |
Bergkamp |
inconsistent, moans, anonymous, petulant,
indisciplined |
| January |
Parlour |
crap, headless chicken, simply not good enough |
| February |
Dixon |
no good going forward, too old |
| March |
Winterburn |
one footed, too old |
| April |
Platt |
greedy, moneybags, self-centred, crap |
| May |
Hughes |
spoilt-brat, greedy, over-rated, arrogant |
| June |
Overmars |
waste of money, never got over his injury |
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The crap player schedule was devised by Mark Nicholls.
We hope to bring you the schedule for season 98-99 as soon as
possible, so that everyone can get some really efficient and
organised whinging in over the summer.
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ArseWeb regrets that, for legal reasons, we are unable to enter into
correspondence about this page.
copyright belongs to original author where credited. otherwise © Rupert Ward, ArseWeb MMV
ArseWeb is NOT the official Arsenal site. The (excellent) official site is here
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